Monday, November 5, 2007

just a sweet transvestite

friday after the freefalling experience, i headed in to cedar rapids to see a theater production of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. one of my best buddies from early high school, Bryant, was Frank N. Furter himself!!

it was a great time. the theater even had bags for participation already prepared! and Bryant was beyond brilliant. i swear to god, he has been rehearsing for that role since the day he left the womb.

afterwards, lindsay, molly, and myself hunted bryant down. we had to follow him to the dressing room before we could steal him away for some late-night perkins. while in the dressing room, we encountered many interesting things, including The Love Phantom and Jolly Green Peter Pan. Jolly Green Peter Pan (JGPP) earned his name by changing into his completely green street clothes and offering us chocolate pudding. he had this really bizzarre, slow, matronly way of speaking; almost like Frank N. Furter. "would you like some puh-ding? after we all denied said pudding, he asked, "would any of you ladies like to carry my surrogate child? maybe we'll have a hermaphrodite." hmmm... sweet transvestite, indeed!

The Love Phantom simply wanted to hump my leg. molly has an incredibly funny picture of him huffing me in the dressing room. in the photo, i am completely oblivious.

terminal velocity

so i took last thursday off of work to go and jump out of a perfectly good airplane.

i went to the Chicagoland Skydiving Center in Hinckley, IL... home of the highest tandem jump in the U.S.
at 14,500', leaping out of the side of a plane (or, in my case, getting shoved out by my tandem instructor), results in a brief period of falling at 170-180 mph. the instructor then throws a small parachute to create drag and slow you to 120mph--terminal velocity--and you will remain at this speed for 60 seconds (known in some areas as one full minute).

sean jumped, too (it was his idea) and brought his buddy bruce. bruce and i were both green.

surprisingly, i wasn't nervous at all (at first). i did, however, bring a full extra set of clothes just in case i did shit my pants or vomit down my shirt... i was not sure that my vomit-direction controlling skills would apply in this particular situation.

but it was okay; i was chill suiting up, taking direction, even on the plane. it was not until we were at the door of the plane, with me hanging over the edge, that i began to freak. while my instructor, Rob, hurled me over the edge and for the first six or so seconds of freefall, i really felt as though i had made an error.

there is no sensation of falling when you are dropping at terminal velocity. i'm not sure if it's the lack of objects flying past or the inability to gauge speed. but there is intense pressure. at one point, i was pretty sure that i was going to puke out my heart and lungs, and that the veins in my forehead would explode, drenching Rob and myself in blood. gross.

but then i came around, and really enjoyed it. every now and then, my heart would drop suddenly and panic would strike, but it would pass quickly and i'd be right back to enjoying the ride.

at 6,000', Rob gave me the "signal" to pull the ripcord. i looked down and couldn't see it. i tried to tell him that he needed to pull it, but he just pointed in my face (the "signal") again. i reached back and, surprisingly, found it right away! i pulled it and we bounced forward as the parachute released. we took our time floating down, and were able to land on our feet.

of course i have pictures.