in the creep zone

last night i was supposed to complete a one-hour trail run.

i am totally sick of the trails around my apartment.

i thought i'd be clever and run out at the QCTri course. even more intelligent, i thought i could save a little gas and bike there. "it's not far," i thought. "i'll just take it easy."

i'm a fucking idiot.

there is no 'taking it easy' on west Locust Street. there are lots of cars, and they are driven by slack-jawed yokel fucks who hate cyclists. on the right is a gravel dropoff. on the left is a median with a curb. best to put it in the big ring and get the fuck out of there...

when i get to west lake, i am pretty fired up to be intact. until i realize what is going down.

apparently, West Lake in the springtime is where creepy fuckers go to hang out alone in their pickups. i am followed in to the park by one of these pukes, who stays behind me at 10mph... even when the road is clear for passing. there are two pickups with guys in the parking lot i want to head into, so i head for an empty lot. Slow Truck Guy follows me in.

i am obviously not going to be leaving my bike and running here. i can hear the news already: "unidentified woman decides to run alone at West Lake surrounded only by trees, water, and lonely men. details at 10." my imagination fills in the details with images picked up from various CSI and Law & Order scenarios.

Slow Truck Guy (STG) stares me down as he passes. i stare back and pull out my multi-tool, flipping oped the flathead screwdriver (the closest thing i have to a weapon). i then nonchalantly start digging at the cleat on the bottom of my shoe. STG pulls to the other side of the parking lot, gets out, takes off his jacket, puts it behind his seat, and gets back in. he then sits there for a minute before pulling out, just as slowly as he came in. maybe the douchebag just can't figure out how to get his truck out of first gear.

fuck. now i have to turn right back around and face Locust- just to get home and run those goddamned trails i have been avoiding all along!

...but you have to go with your gut. and i have no intention of having my limp ass pulled out of the lake.

a phone-lickin' good time

lindsay and i decided to have our DICE Women's training camp on Saturday.

of course this would be the day with 20 mph winds that gust up to 27 mph.

we went out in Iowa, did a Wisconsin/Telegraph Rd. loop, then braved the terrifying and glass-covered Centennial bridge in strong crosswinds to pass into Illinois. we continued out into the wind until we did a lollipop loop turnaround-and-back on Hubbard/Dennhardt Rds. we stopped at the Village RX (Hampton) for a little lunch. i had my phone for desert. we opted for the Arsenal bridge for our return Mighty Miss crossing, where we had to wait for the drawspan to close. the Arsenal bridge was just as horrifying as the Centennial, if not more so.

we were out for about 3 1/2 hours.

lessons: crushing headwinds do not make for an easy ride (i had forgotten this), do not put gel wrappers in the same jersey pocket as cell phone, i (heart) andrea's old TargeTraining jacket.

Jackson Hole rocks my socks

Feb. 27-Mar. 1: i headed off to Jackson Hole, WY for my cousin Megan's wedding. they put us all up at the Snow King resort, right at the base of the steepest (not tallest) ski run in the U.S. of A.

the wedding was a swingin' good time on Leap Day (February 29). hundreds of folks showed up(both the bride and groom are from Jackson, so a lot of the townies showed up), many rocking cowboy hats. Uncle Pete owns The Liquor Store. not much else needs to be said about that.

i got a chance to run about every day. one day i ran through town and stumbled upon Fitzgerald's Bicycles. Fitzgerald's is the type of shop you hope to find when you are out-of-town: the owner loves bikes and hangs out at the shop, the mechanics know what's up, Surlys in stock. i was worried at first- the shop didn't smell like a proper bike shop; it was pretty shiny in general. (for a moment i thought i had unwittingly stumbled into a trek store.) then i saw the Pugsley leaning against the counter, and i relaxed. i found out it was a brand-new location, so the shiny-ness will take care of itself in good time. they had a bunch of CompuTrainers, and the next day they set me up on a rental bike and off i went for an hour at altitude on a snowy day! i bought a t-shirt that says "Eat Food, Chop Wood, Ride Bike" on the front and has their logo on the back.

i also ran through the National Elk Refuge, which is home to around 3,000 head of elk. it really is something to see. i got a chance to snowboard at Teton Village. the smallest hill was 416'. i don't even know what the highest peak was.

i will be going back.

Snowgaine-O

I did my first event with Team POLeR, a six-hour "rogaine style" orienteering event at the Mississippi Palisades SP. We had a blast, and came in 9th (out of like 14). That's pretty good considering the field (lots of very quick, seasoned veterans) and conditions. Plus, we were the only team of four, which is generally slower. Oh yeah... they had me on board, and I am totally clueless. A bit of a handicap, one might say.

Mississippi Palisades is a beautiful park north of the QCA, covered with anywhere from 6" to 3.5' of snow. The temps ranged from 15degF to a balmy 25degF. I wore some old hiking boots, wool socks, running tights with cycling tights over top, base layers, ANdrea's old TargetTraining jacket, Salsa beanie, etc. The rest of the team showed up in mostly waterproof gear. Most noteable: gaiters. Oh shit, I thought. What am I getting in to?

I understood the need for the gaiters early on; after about 45 minutes we stopped because my ankles were caked with snow and I was walking in the resulting melted snow: water. I fashioned my own pair of gaiters out of a couple of plastic shopping bags and some duct tape, which worked well for a few hours. Luckily I had an extra pair of socks to change into. The only time we were truly on pavement was when we cut across the park to Hwy 84 to jog in. The cutoff time was 3:00pm; we checked in at 2:58.

I made a real effort to keep myself nourished during this event. Since we were hiking, I aimed for 20-30 grams of carbs every hour, as well as water the whole time. I had to keep my Camelbak Helena tube/mouthpiece in my cleavage to keep it from freezing. I also used my "boob warmer" to unfreeze gels and bars. Very handy! (Note: this area is also very useful as a garbage can in the warmer months.) My goal was to not embarrass myself and bonk during my first event with this group. Aside from the sock/gaiter situation, it all worked out well.

The were a few mishaps: in two and a half feet of snow, I walked straight into a tree stump- bashing my knee/shin. This isn't half as bad as when Code took a branch to the area right below his left buttcheek. Three inches to the right, and he'd a been fucked. Literally. He says it looks worse than it feels. Jesus, I hope so... because that looks like hell.

Results: immediate purchase of Gore-Tex gaiters, purchase of Ace ankle supports, 9th in a crazy strong field, flesh wounds for Code.

i made veggie soup!!!

i eat like a child.

so, i have decided to prepare food like a child. but i have limited what my ingredients are. i found if i just pick the veggies i like, throw them in a pot of veggie broth, boil 'em for a minute, then simmer 'em for 20 more, i have perfectly good soup that i will actually eat. it's worthy of an installment of The Boxcar Children.

here's what i did:
30-32 oz. of veggie broth. (i used Imagine Organic. it's tomato/carrot based.)
4 cups of any kind of veggies you want. this is where you can get freaky. i went with potatoes, carrots, spring greens (the pre-mixed organic stuff), onion, tomato, and chopped fresh garlic.
1/2 - 1 tsp. various seasonings. i used sea salt, pepper, chili powder, and basil.

boil it. simmer it. eat it!

there's hope for me yet!

blood sugar trainwreck

it's no secret that i have a strained relationship with food. we've never been buds... and i'm pretty sure the bitch owes me twenty bucks. lately i've been trying to incorporate more greens (blech!) and fruit, and eat fewer processed animal and sugar products. this week so far, i have had three salads and more PB&J than i care to disclose.

in my attempt to limit my processed sugars, i made a rule: when i am craving soda, i can only have Coca-Cola, and only in a can. this means that if i have a weak moment while driving and stop into a convenience store, i can only purchase a can of Coca-Cola. if they don't have cans, i have to opt for water. this is more effective than you would expect.

yesterday, about 45 minutes after having a lunch, i began to sweat profusely. my hands began to shake and i became lightheaded. lunch consisted of a small mixed greens salad with egg whites, kalamatas, and strawberries with some corn & potato chowder soup (i made myself!) and some caramel-flavored rice cakes. i drank water because the gas station i stopped at on the way to work only carried Coke in 20 oz. bottles... boo.

due to the timeline (45 minutes), i was pretty sure that i was heading into some pretty raunchy food poisoning territory, so i told my boss that i was leaving before we all regretted it. on the way home, i began to crave sugar in an unholy way. i stopped at known seller of Coke In Cans to get my fix on, to find the Coke slot empty! i stood there, betrayed, looking back and forth from the sprite to the diet coke. then- there, at the bottom of the cooler, was a 12-pack of the beloved Can! it took me three seconds to decide i was going to buy the whole fucking thing. i had the pack ripped open before i even reached the counter.

i drank my beloved Can in about two gulps, got home, crawled onto the couch and woke up two hours later... still in my coat. but no violent excreting, from either end. i felt better if not drowsy. a few armchair experts tell me they think it was some sort of blood sugar crash or hypoglycemia. any educated or medicated guesses are welcome.

my question is: why hasn't this posed a problem before?

this is what i get for trying to eat healthy.

i know what it feels like when hell freezes over

Frostbite Footrace 8K (4.96 miles)

Around this time, we all get a little sick & tired of trainers and treadmills. Our judgment becomes impaired and we can be talked in to just about anything. This is how races such as the Frostbite Footrace can be successful.

The course is challenging on a pleasant day; any cyclist that has done DICE's Cody races in the spring can vouch for the hilliness of Scott County Park. Add to that a start time temperature of -3* F, with a wind chill bringing it down to -27* F. So there you have it: I was in hell, and it was definitely frozen.

Yes, bullshit at it's finest.

I am very proud of my iPod; it almost lasted until the second mile before freezing. There is not much to say about my actual running of this race, except that it proved what Andrea & I have said all along: What doesn't kill you is going to hurt really bad. The third mile was the worst. This was where taking a deep breath started to create pain in my left shoulder/shoulderblade area. I also began to get the sensation that I was simply running on stumps instead of feet. Not sure, but I think this had something to do with numbness in the toes. My left knee also felt a bit out of whack. Good times!!

The race itself is always well run (this was the 26th annual), and they had a raffle with great swag. I won a long sleeve Mizuno Dryscience running shirt! Post race had hot cider and cookies. I was hoping to beat last year's time by at least a minute or two, but after hearing the weather forecast I let that go. I've never been much of a runner anyway. I ended up with the EXACT SAME TIME as last year. Literally. To the second. It was good for second place in my AG.

Anyway, I got my subzero fix. I'll be happy enough on the trainer inside a heated building for a while longer.

results: 00:46:34 for 8K, frozen iPod, images that will haunt me forever of men with snot icicles on their porn 'staches